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Part of the process required me to get
very real with myself, which included
stepping on the scale. I knew I had put
on weight during my second pregnancy,
but I hadn’t stepped on a scale
since then, which was in 1998. I knew
I was overweight, but I had no idea how
overweight I was. That walk through the
locker room was extremely difficult. I
told myself that I could do it and that
no matter what the scale said, I would
never again weigh that much. I literally
had to give myself a pep talk in order
to get on the scale. To my amazement and
shock I weighed 225 pounds! I had no idea
my weight was that high.
I chose not to announce to anyone in
my life that I was on a journey to lose
weight. I didn’t want people watching
me and waiting for me to fail, so I kept
very quiet. However, I did seek out some
support online and began attending weekly
meetings with other women who were trying
to lose weight.
At that time my boys were 4 and 7 and
it was right before the holidays. By the
time January rolled around, I had lost
about 10 pounds and had ordered a pair
of size 18 Gap jeans online. I still kept
my success quiet, still not wanting to
be watched. The changes I had made in
my life were beginning to feel a little
easier -- no eating in front of the TV
or computer, eating five times a day,
drinking a half gallon of water every
day, walking on the treadmill 20 minutes
about 2 times per week. However, even
more importantly, the internal dialogue
that had become so entrenched in me began
to loosen its grip. I was working very
hard at reprogramming that dialogue, those
things I said to myself that no one else
could hear -- those unkind words that
I would never say to someone else but
yet said them to myself constantly each
day. I began to be kinder in the things
I said to myself, particularly about my
body. Essentially, I became my own cheerleader,
pushing myself to move forward each day,
learning to be kind to myself, to nurture
myself, and to keep making positive changes.
Six months after my journey began, in
April 2004, I had lost about 20 pounds
(2 sizes). I was able to wear a size 16!
Then a crisis occurred – my husband
filed for divorce and I suddenly found
myself a single mother after 13 years
of marriage. I knew that I would not give
up what I had begun despite the tremendous
stress that I was under. I borrowed my
sister’s treadmill and set it up
in my living room and that’s where
I did my workouts.
I had to move out of the house very shortly
after the divorce was filed. My best friend
helped me fix up my mom’s basement
so my boys and I could move in. I had
tremendous support and although the stress
level was pretty high, with all of the
physical activity going on, I dropped
another 20 pounds over the summer. I continued
to eat at least five times per day throughout
all of this, watching the clock to make
sure I didn’t miss a meal!
My weight-loss journey continued and
by October 2004, a year after it had begun,
I was wearing a size 8 jeans! By Christmas
I was in a 6, and by February I realized
that I wasn’t going down sizes any
longer! All in all, I lost about 80 pounds,
going from a size 22 pants to a size 6.
This process took almost twice as much
time as I had planned but I was maintaining
weight loss, sticking to my new eating
habits and feeling really good about myself.
People in my life started telling me
I should be a personal trainer, which
shocked me since my perception of a trainer
was someone who had always been fit. After
several people suggested that I be a trainer,
I finally started to listen! I’m
happy to say that I am now a certified
personal trainer and am excited to be
in a position to help others on their
journey to wellness. I truly have a passion
for encouraging people to live a fit and
healthy life!
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